UPDATE*

im back home so long ago but was too tired so fell asleep.

then darling called and woke me up. was really really happy he called but he talked about some guy. i dont mention names cause i hate him. he is the main reason why me and darling quarrel so much the other time. i really pekchek when he suddenly say him when we so happy. i just hate it. not because he cant ask about my past but its because he is someone we two should forget.

i cried again, so hard. i have the feeling i would lose him again. i was always so afraid cause im stupid. i donno how to make my darling happy. donno how to say sorry. im not perfect in his eyes at all. i know.

we are okay again. i fear for the next argument. i always did fear. i hate it and prayed real hard for it to stop. but it seems that God dislikes me. He did try helping i guess. its just me, i spoil everything. because im stupid.

im not a good girlfriend. im not good at anything.

i love you fabian darling, only you just you forever you.

;i am afraid